Get your eyes off my daughter

Modern Modesty or Stop Looking at My Daughter were considered alternate post titles as I wrestle with the reality of my 13 year (soon to be 14) old daughter fast becoming a beautiful young woman and drawing unwanted attention from members of the opposite sex. How do we as parents prepare them for this? We can't stop guys/men looking, but how do we as females handle this?

This year have noticed that when we walk together, guys deliberately turn and look at Thoughtful Princess. This week a much older man kept staring at her while we were at the petrol station and I really wanted to yell out, "Get your eyes off my daughter"! Protective Mum, definitely! I feel like a mother bear with her cubs, roaring if anything threatens our peace and security! It's not surprising they look as she is a beauty to behold, but it has struck me how protective I feel of her. Makes me also consider modesty and how to live and teach this to my daughters. Also to teach my sons how to respect and treat women. 

The protection of modesty can only go so far. We can be responsible for ourselves, but not for others choices. It's been an age old debate around sexual assaults - did the woman deserve it because she was wearing a mini skirt? We still hear it today in the 21st century as if it can possibly be some plausible excuse for some man's inability to curb his sexual desires! She made me do it, because she looked so good! Really!!! What about self control and respect for another human being don't we get! Our TV's, billboards, everywhere we look are half naked women, (just watching the Olympics with carved athletes barely clothed disputes the adage of minimal clothing being a reason for assault). Pornography is available in the same aisle as lollies in most service stations and 7-Eleven stores! It's that accessible, at the press of button literally. 

Should we as women have to wear veils to cover our faces as do Islamic women? This certainly doesn't stop assaults against women in Muslim countries! Geisha girls in Japan demonstrate that the beauty of just a woman's eyes can attract a man. Should we have to wear habits as do nuns to not show any curves or draw any possible attention? Does what we wear really matter at all, would it protect us from stares, wolf whistles, genuine compliments or flirtatious conversation? A total stranger told me once I had JFL hair. I don't need to tell you what JFL means, I didn't know and naively asked the man what he meant. I was totally shocked that a stranger could be so rude! Maybe in his mind it was paying a compliment, but to me it was highly offensive. This was standing in line to pay for a meal! Was I somehow provoking him by standing in line? 

At the beginning of this year, Thoughtful Princess who would normally wear board shirts and a rash shirt to go swimming, came out wearing a bikini. My sons, aged 16yrs and 14yrs then told their sister to go put some clothes on and that she was trying to show off! It was classic, comical scenario. It was as if they too were being protective of their own sister. She has blossomed and developed into a young woman in the past 12 months taller than me now and it was like her brothers were seeing her as such for the very first time, they didn't know where to look. I am glad that they are protective of their sisters and we often make the analogy that they are their body guards, especially walking Sunshine home from school still.

So what of modesty? What is appropriate and not appropriate? What is reasonable and what is being ridiculous? Neck to ankle dresses? Thoughtful Princess as most girls her age loves wearing short shorts. Not for any reason than they are what's in at the moment. Again her brothers pass comment. They will admit to liking this style on other girls, but not their own sister! There is definitely a balance to be found between wearing what you like, is comfortable, reflects your personality and taste and considering modesty. Should we as girls/women have to really consider if it's going to draw attention? Is that really our responsibility?

I too have been asked about 'drawing male attention' as if I 'cause it to happen or somehow it's deliberate, intentional or my fault.' I think simply being female is my response. By virtue of being female and being friendly can be all that it takes, there is certainly no deliberate intent involved. We can't stop being female, or feminine, maybe we can stop being too friendly! How do we be modest, be true to ourselves and not draw unwanted male attention? Is it possible? Is it necessary? Is it my/our responsibility to 'not cause my brother to stumble?' Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and whether you are wearing neck to ankle clothes or something more trendy, both can be equally attractive to any given individual, not an invitation to stare or be undressed mentally. For some it wouldn't matter what they're wearing anyway! It's who they are! 

This is how I have guided my daughter and wonder if others do the same. Would appreciate comments or suggestions from others on how they handle this too. I teach my daughters to respect themselves first. Simply to be mindful of what they wear and how they act. There's short and there's too short, choose comfortable. There's low cut and there's too low, choose covered breasts. There's modesty and there's a 'cheap' look, choose modesty. Choose clothes you like. Cherishing my daughters and teaching them to embrace being feminine. 

I just made the count

Tribute to Sunshine 

She just made the count, born the day before Federation year census in 2001, recipient of an exclusive t-shirt to commemorate it, on the front page of our local newspaper as a newborn and has been delighting us with her loveliness, laughter and life ever since. Amy - French for, 'much loved' is indeed her name's sake. Happy 11th Birthday Sunshine!

Sunshine entered this world at the respectable hour of 9am on the 6th August, 2011 after a comfortable 5 hour labour. And yes we did make it to hospital! After 2 of her 3 older siblings were unplanned home births, her Dad had had enough of home midwifery and really wanted someone else to help this birth! It was a very nervous drive to the hospital let me tell you! I really, really didn't want to have a baby in a car, nor an elevator! Thoughtful from the womb, she waited till we were safely in the maternity ward to make her debut. 

She was surprisingly the heaviest baby of all our four, 8 lb 2 oz. I even asked the midwife to weigh her again as I had felt the smallest during my pregnancy & didn't believe her birth weight. She too was our 'only surprise' in terms of sex. With our first three we had either been told the gender by the radiographer or actually saw the scan and could work it out for ourselves. I had so prepared myself that Sunshine would actually be a boy as it seemed too good to be true to have 2 boys and 2 girls. So I convinced myself that she was a he! You can only imagine my overwhelming joy when she was born a she! Still feels too good to be true. Many have asked for the recipe, alas there isn't one! 

Ridiculous as it sounds, one of the first things I said when she was born was that we had saved $X on a circumcision! Her Dad quickly replied, 'and gained $10K bill for a wedding"! Now before you all think we are barbaric for having our son's circumcised, both being nurses we have seen more men have circumcisions later in life for medical reasons on surgical wards than we can count, so rather than have to go through the agony and embarrassment of this as an adult, chose to have our son's circumcised as the Jews have done for centuries, within 8 days of birth. 

I had really wanted to spell her name, Aimee, as do the French, but her Dad thought that everyone would spell it wrong, so we went with ease of spelling. I agreed to the spelling also because she was named after, Amy Carmichael, so it made sense to keep the spelling the same! Her middle name, Rose, is to honour her paternal Grandmother. Though her Grandmother's Mum, Great Nana, didn't really 'approve' of her name, saying it didn't match with the biblical theme we had given all our other children! She suggested we rename her Naomi, which we had actually considered, but also I had liked the French version which translated is pronounced, No-emi! Again her Dad didn't go for the French variation, arguing that we would say, "No Amy, enough without calling her that as a name"!

So 'little much loved', as we affectionately call her, is the youngest of our four. Though technically the 'baby' of the family, she is probably the most responsible. Even her brothers say, "if you want something done, ask Amy! If you have a message, tell Amy, she'll remember!"

She's organised, disciplined, thoughtful, confident, she's a lovely friend, she loves reading, she loves dancing, she loves life, she loves school, she loves routine and loves her family. And of course she loves, Muffin, who was gifted her for last year's birthday. Her beloved kitten who is now a full grown cat is Amy's shadow. It was love at first sight and hasn't faded since, Amy is a very responsible pet owner too!  

As a baby I fondly remember dinner being her favourite time of day. Highly unusual for a baby! Usually dinner time, is 'unhappy hour' in most households as babies get over tired, cry for no apparent reason and seem grumpy just because, not Sunshine. She seemed to love the buzz of family life, the routine of everyone sitting down to dinner, of being in her high chair. Vividly and fondly remember how happily she would eat, bath and go to bed, contented. An easy baby! 

Also remember her boldly asking at age 2 years when she could go for a sleep over! Evidence of being the youngest of four, as her oldest brother would have had no idea of what a sleep over was at age 2! She had seen them all come and go and thought she was ready for the same! 

So here she is now, 11 years old. A busy year of grade 6, last year of primary school and a year full of dance classes, rehearsals and eisteddfods. Amy gave up walking a long time ago. She dances everywhere; to breakfast, to brush her teeth, to her bedroom, to wash the dishes, literally she pirouettes, taps, swirls, leaps or plies everywhere! She even wakes up at 5am to practice on non dance class days, setting the alarm clock herself! She teaches me what desire, discipline and dreaming looks like! 

I thank God daily for each of my children, their lives, their health and that they are graciously granted to me to nurture, love and cherish, and cherish them I do! 

Dreaming

What does taking Sunshine to the ballet, choosing Deep Water's grade 11 & 12 subjects, the Olympics and child sex slavery have in common?

Sunshine and I went to the ballet last week, just her and I. This gave us precious time to chat in the car. Am sure those of you who have multiple children will agree that finding quality 1:1 time with each of your children sometimes proves a challenge and that 'car time' dropping off and picking up one by one creates a lovely, captive space to talk. After watching this wonderful, creative, contemporary ballet performance, Sunshine was totally inspired and talked non stop all the way home, dreaming out loud, sharing her vivid imagination for future hopes in dancing, owning a ballet school, teaching dance, all inclusive of her BFFs (best friends) of course who share similar dreams. I was struck again by how beautiful childhood dreams are. Reminded also of my recent time at Kamarooka and sharing my friend's childhood dream of owning her own farm, come true.

Almost every Olympic medal won, was first conceived in the imagination and dreams of some young girl or boy aspiring to be a champion athlete. Deep Waters and I attended a subject selection evening at school this week, discussing the virtues of physics, chemistry, biology along with other subjects - exploring out of the box subjects such as ICT, aerospace, legal studies and weighing them all up in view of what DW likes and is good at. Wow it feels like he has to decide what he wants to be at age 15! Such huge pressure these days to choose subjects that will prepare you for life! University included. So we have talked about almost every possible profession under the sun from medicine to law, to forensic and genetic science, bio medical research to engineering, architecture, accounting, being a pilot, statistics, even the possibility of being a professional soccer player to find something that captivates DW's imagination. We have one week to decide!

We spent ages last night discussing this before bed. DW asked about all the males in our family and why they chose what their current professions are. We have a lawyer, a vet, a forest researcher, an electrician, a draftsman, a diesel mechanic, a nurse. An interesting exercise. DW asked some really pertinent questions around whether the significant males in his life actually enjoy what they do now? He asked why Dad chose to become a nurse not a doctor, is that what he really wanted to be? [Actually he really wanted to be a pilot but his eye sight wasn't good enough]. Why did Granddad chose law & to be a magistrate when he is an extreme introvert (hermit kind)? All valid & good questions but couldn't answer. I suggested he ask them individually to find out more.

What were you dreaming at 15? Discovering a cure for cancer? Winning a gold medal? Opening an orphanage in India, becoming a doctor, nurse, teacher, movie star, developing the world wide web (if only) getting married, having children, owning a farm, starting a business, retiring by 30? We ALL have hopes, dreams, imaginings, some grander, wilder & nobler than others as Sir Richard Branson has taught the world, dream big, it just might come true! Some humble, simple dreams of being happy, healthy and of helping others.

Funny I think back to being 15 and the subjects I chose in grade 11 & 12 and of how they didn't prepare me for life and really how insignificant they are now. They certainly did influence further future decisions though; modern history, drama, art, French, maths, English. I failed maths because I was chatting to my future husband too much & not concentrating, however I had studied & loved French for 5 years so chose to study in Switzerland at age 19 yrs in some vain attempt to become bilingual and have since learnt Mandarin Chinese. I love languages but now do very little with them. I once dreamt of being a translator. Now I am a nurse educator and doing a Masters in Health Science which I would never have dreamt of doing at age 15 - I hated science back then! So dreams/hopes/goals certainly do change with time, age and circumstances.

Which leads me to thinking about young girls as in Iran who are betrothed to marry as young as 9yrs.  Girls being abducted in Nepal, Burma, Thailand and sold to become prostitutes against their free will. An abhorrent situation. Here Sunshine dreams of dancing while other girls her age, almost another world away dream of freedom. What do they dream of? Being free? Being 'normal'? Being loved, not raped? Of being home? Being able to simply go to school and get an education? We take so much for granted here in Australia.

DW asked me last night why I chose to be a nurse. I had quite a profound experience when I was working in Mali, West Africa at age 20 on an agricultural project with YWAM. I have since a young girl always dreamed of living overseas doing humanitarian work, so to work in Mali was part fulfilment of that. Living in Taiwan also brought some fulfilment of this too. But it was in Mali I met amazing Swiss nurses helping Mali women give birth safely, look after themselves and get basic medical care that otherwise would have left them with fistulas, infections, at worst die or have life limiting health issues. I saw that nursing was the best way to 'serve' and care for others, it was a ticket to the world. With nursing I could go anywhere do anything. So with no science in my grade 11, 12 subjects applied to university and amazingly got in! I was a guinea pig in the first PBL nursing course in Australia so it was a free degree!

Also in Mali, I had another epiphany experience, sitting under a tree reading a book. A young Mali girl came up to me. We couldn't speak to each other as she didn't speak French (their national language) as girls are not educated in Mali and I couldn't speak Bambara, her tribal language. She kept pointing to the book, as if surprised that as a woman I could read. I gave her the book and prayed that one day she would be able to read it. I then felt this incredible exchange. Why was I born in Australia? Why was I not born in Mali like this girl? I could be this girl, born in Mali, married by age 16, have 4 kids by the age of 20. Why did I get the privilege of an education in Australia, 12years of it that I never had really appreciated until that very moment. I felt so incredibly privileged to have simply been able to go to school. What would I do with my education? Help girls like her, someway, somehow.

The questions begs, why did I have to go to Mali to decide to be a nurse? Who knows, but I guess it serves as a good reminder to me as a parent now to not expect my own children to know or chose what they want to be at 15! I think a gap year or two is actually a really good idea if you are unsure of what you want to do. I had a 3yr gap between school and Uni. 

How lucky/blessed are we here in Australia, that our children can have an education, can have wild and wonderful dreams, such liberty, such innocence. I have come to really appreciate the power and beauty of dreaming afresh this week. It should never be taken for granted or dismissed rather nurtured and fostered. Much of what starts in our imaginations becomes a reality. So be careful what you dream, it's free, it may come true. Dream big, dream long, dream when you sleep, when you're awake, dream out loud, dream together, dream for a better world without human trafficking, of the world beyond the grave, of young girls being able to chose their futures rather than having their futures stolen and chosen for them.

Albert Einstein said, "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions."

If you are interested in finding out more and/or supporting girls to find a better future can I recommend the following; 

Destiny Rescue

HELP

World Vision Don't Trade Lives

Funniest person in my life

EQ says this line almost daily - he has a great sense of humour, quick wit and has our family always laughing, probably inherited from his Dad. So I asked him this week about the validity of his statement, as how can everyone he meet possibly be 'the funniest person in his life', so he clarified.


"So and so is the funniest person I know at school, so and so is the funniest person at TAFE, so and so is the funniest person at work etc"....... So in every circle of his life he is attracted to others with a quick wit and quirky sense of humour too! I found this really interesting and remembered the conversation we had after his first shift at MacDonalds, eighteen months ago now.


Me: "So how was your first shift?"
EQ: " Oh you should meet xxxx, they are the coolest person!"
Me: "So what did you have to do?"
EQ: "Our manager is just the best, she did x,y,z...., I think she'll be really cool to work with."
Me: "So do you think you'll like working there?"
EQ: "It's great to meet new people, xxxx this, xxxx that, xxxx...."


So what does this little transcript tell me/us? EQ is aptly named! He LOVES people and would rather focus on the people at work, than the work itself. Having said that, he gets more shifts than he can do, because he does have a good work ethic and has been commended by his managers for such. So I am not worried that he focuses on people more than the work. He seems to be able to do both. I just love it that he loves people and they are the focus of his life. Some people make us smile on the inside and/or the out, EQ does both. I never did find out what he did on his first shift! Something to do with flipping burgers, oh that's right, it was cooking chicken nuggets!


Cherishing my children.

One crystal goblet

Inspired by a recent read at Kamarooka, She, Understanding Feminine Psychology by Robert Johnson. Not a huge mythology fan but have grown to appreciate the power of the narrative in myths that can speak to us vividly when the blatantly obvious sometimes doesn't. It never ceases to amaze me that even as adults we need repetition, repetition as do children, until we 'get something' and even then we constantly need to be reminded! And often it needs to be presented to us in different ways, colours and shades to keep getting it, living it or applying it. Maybe I am just super slow at 'getting some things', and all this is a swings and round-a-bout way to say the penny dropped while reading Johnson's book, and it took a wild mythological story to help me see it!


"Myths are rich sources of psychological insight. Great literature, like all great art, records and portrays the human condition with indelible accuracy. Myths are a special kind of literature not written or created by a single individual, but produced by the imagination and experience of an entire age and culture and can be seen as the distillation of the dreams and experiences of a whole culture. Myths honour universality and timelessness."


Do you ever feel as a modern mum/parent caught between conflicting choices/demands? Parenting +/vs volunteering, parenting +/vs work, parenting +/vs study, parenting +/vs helping others, parenting +/vs community projects, parenting +/vs sport? With education & ever changing society expectations has come this incredible pull to not just be satisfied with the wonderful profession of parenting, particularly mothering. The once 'stay at home' mum myself have struggled with this ever since becoming a 'full time working mum'. Getting the balance just right. We are all expected to juggle parenting plus, plus, plus.


Johnson is his book, She describes the interplay between two characters, Psyche and Aphrodite, who represent the two parts of a woman's personality according to Greek mythology. I won't go into all the details, but rather highlight one 'task' out of four that really leapt off the page, and you guessed it, has to do with a crystal goblet.


Imagine a character, Psyche, she has been given four tasks to accomplish before she can really know herself and be 'redeemed'. The crystal goblet is a part of the third task along her perilous journey to find the inner treasure. Psyche finds herself by a fast flowing river that tumbles from a high mountain. Her task is to fill a crystal goblet with water from the river. Easy? The river is guarded by dangerous monsters and there is no place by the side of the river to set one's foot to dip the goblet in. Suddenly an eagle appears and flies to Psyche in her distress and asks for the crystal goblet. Flying to the centre of the stream, the eagle lowers the goblet into the dangerous waters, fills it and brings it safely back to Psyche. Her task is accomplished. Simple, yet profound.


What does this story tell us? What is the crystal goblet? Who is the eagle? And why a fast flowing river? All imagery that I am sure you could relate to your own life, with varied meanings attached to each character as symbolic.


"This task is telling us how the woman must relate to the vastness of life. She may take only one goblet of water. The feminine way is to do one thing and do it well and in proportion. She is not denied a second or third or tenth activity but she must take it one goblet at a time, each in good order." 


As women/parents we are often flooded with the vastness of possibilities in life and drawn to all of them, usually all at once! Here, here! Speaking my language! But this is impossible; one cannot do or be so many things at once (but we'll all have a good go at it, that superwoman fallacy). Johnson goes so far as to say that there is a modern day heresy that states if a little is good, more is better. Unfortunately this is pumped to us everywhere, do more, be more, achieve more. This creates a life that even while we are enjoying one experience we can be already looking for the next. Balance. Enjoying the now without being consumed by the future.


The goblet is crystal for a reason. Crystal is very fragile and very precious, it represents our ego/personality. It holds the water representing life from the river.  If we are not careful the goblet can be shattered by the treacherous river. So we need vision like an eagle to see the vastness of the river, the great flow of life and be ale to dip into the river at just the right place, in the right manner. This comes with a warning to not plunge too deeply expecting the whole of life to be experienced at once, it is better one goblet at a time, otherwise the river may drown or overwhelm us.


Johnson finishes by reminding us that almost all of us at times can become overwhelmed by the 'too-muchness' of modern life, even daily. This is the time for an eagle view and one-crystal-goblet-at-a-time  mentality, to life, to parenting. Little is much, be content and satisfied with what you have now, let go of longing for more, more, more and model this to our children. Parenting, particularly when our children are younger is enough, don't squeeze them in around everything else. Parenting is our focus, they are with us for but a short while.....cherish them now.

Inner beauty

Today more than ever we are pushed by media to look a certain way, dress a certain way, follow fashion, be skinny, have flawless complexions, no saggy butts, boobs, chins or faces, botox and cosmetic surgery are heralded as saviours to our ageing bodies. To be quite frank, I don't subscribe to it.

To override the push or even to go against the pulling tide, takes substantial energy. I find as a mother of two daughters and two sons, it is a constant challenge to navigate and interpret what my four see on TV and around them. I want for my daughters to be content with who they are, invest time in inner beauty and attitudes rather than external looks, aim to be generous, loving and kind, rather than sexy, hot and available.

I want for my sons also to be satisfied with who they are, not pumping themselves full of protein powder, steroids, hormones or becoming gym junkies to prove themselves as studs. Nor for them to expect their potential girlfriends and wives to be like what is promoted on TV to be attractive. Hopefully they see beyond the superficiality of this and desire women in their life who have invested in inner beauty.

Maybe you think I am old fashioned, or not wanting to keep up with modern times. So be it, I still would rather see my children grow up valuing inner beauty over external. In my work as a palliative nurse I see the ravages of disease, cancer, dementia, motor neurones, huntington's etc and their toll on physical bodies and sometimes wonder at the great price we pay to keep our bodies beautiful to have them suddenly flawed by disease or accidents and inevitably the ageing process. This makes me value what's going on the inside more than the out. Whatever happened to ageing gracefully?

So much time and money is invested in beauty products, treatments, facials, scrubs, massages, gym memberships and the like, I consider how much do we invest in nurturing our inner selves/beauty. Richard Rohr, renown author speaks about a renaissance of contemplation and the potential benefits of this 'exercise' and would argue not only for its internal benefits but also that it enhances the physical too. From the inside out.

Don't read me wrong, I am not anti exercise nor for looking one's best and I am all for a relaxing massage or other treatments in right measures when time permits. I love clothes and its one of our favourite mother daughter things to go op shopping to find the best fashion bargains we can. Thoughtful Princess is the BEST bargain hunter! All in moderation. However it's the obsession with physical beauty or appearances that consumes our TV programs, magazines and billboards that concerns me as a Mum.

A father's relationship with his daughters also plays such an integral role in young girls sense of self esteem and how they view themselves. And likewise mothers and sons. This I see so beautifully in my own children. Thoughtful Princess and Sunshine are for the most part very content and have lovely self esteem, more balanced than I ever was at their age. I attribute much of this to their Dad's love and affirmation of them. He tells them how beautiful they are. And he means from the inside, out.

Sunshine once asked me why I wear makeup, I spun some response around, "if only I had beautiful 10yr old skin like yours I wouldn't need too" (then felt instantly guilty for comparing). Sunshine quickly looked in the bathroom mirror and said, "I like my face, I'm glad God gave me this face"! Oh how precious those words! She said it not in any kind of pretentious, vain or conceited way, but one of total satisfaction with who she is. Isn't that the healthy kind of self esteem we long for our children to have? Hope she is still saying that when she is 21 and beyond!

Sunshine when she gets dressed for an eisteddfod now has a little verse stuck to her mirror which I have encouraged her to practise & remember. Behind the makeup and costumes is the inner beauty and attitudes we desire more, "clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience". I have for years had this on my own mirror, recited it as a morning prayer & tried to live it, now it's time to pass it on.

Something we can all aspire to regardless of age or gender. In the art of cherishing our children let us foster inner beauty more.

Shalom, 

Dare to be silent

View from Kamarooka Cottage

O breath of morn

blue of blue, hues of grey

cold crisp air says it's dawn

arise, come meet the day

A wallaby greets me at the door
silence offers a gentle kiss
all around is beauty to adore
heaven on earth is bliss, bliss, bliss


To take all this into my soul
beauty out there bring in
a dose of creation to make me whole
surrender to the still voice within


He is here in all of this
that I may see His face
let all striving cease
embrace grace, grace, grace                                                                                                                                                             

It kinda was and kinda wasn't, a conversation that planted a seed, like almost a dare to a silent retreat. Being an extrovert who loves people, people, people, the idea of total silence and no human contact for even just a day almost fills me with dread. But the opportunity arose, two whole days without commitments or responsibility, could it become a carved out space, a dare to be silent, to retreat? With no agenda but just to be, a swag of books, nature and me.


I feel purged from things that really don't matter. No TV, no phone conversations, no Facebook, no food, no artificial noise just natural ones; birds chirping, kookaburras laughing, bees buzzing, crickets clicking, cows mooing, chooks clucking, dogs barking, frogs croaking, like a hot soak and massage in nature's silence, stripped away from technology and pressure, a detox from competing voices of the world; do this, be this, lead this, manage this, coordinate this, write this, review this, sort this, fix this.


Stop. Be still. Come away. Dare to be silent. Just be. 


Though I love to keep up to date with politics and current affairs it has been really refreshing to not hear 'bad news' for two days. It's almost like being marooned on a deserted island with no news from the outside world. Marooned and hidden in the hills. I am not advocating a totally cloistered lifestyle, though for some this is a calling and choice, but for some of us to retreat from the busyness of life even just for a day or two can be enough to recharge and regain perspective. Imagine a month's retreat!


Contemplation, meditation and prayer are ancient practises that go in and out of vogue in our crazy paced culture. Being still when there is so much to do, achieve and succeed in is contrary to popular demand, 'operating in the opposite spirit' my YWAM days taught me. Their experienced benefits far outweigh any criticism of them. Each religion in the world has variations of the same, yet for me as one who tries to follow Christ, I find immeasurable comfort and peace in meditating on His life, His words, His love, trying to make relevant His presence, principles and values, a practise that has been tested and trialled through the centuries. Though I fail mostly, there is infinite grace to keep trying. It is this rhythm of grace I have found again this weekend in the hills and silence of Kamrooka and untamed places of my heart.


Often we need to remind ourselves we are human beings first, not human doings. I am one of the first to get caught up in do, do, do. To retreat is a golden gift to pause, reflect, recalibrate, refresh, like shift F5. Hopefully I will be a better mum, colleague, friend having been tucked away for a couple of days. Taking some of this beauty into my soul and everyday. Responding graciously with love and patience rather than frazzled fried reactions. Wonder how long the benefits of retreat last? It comes with no packaged guarantees, but this I do know, I have taken a plunge and jumped into the river of life again, to be carried by the mystery of its unfolding (thanks to John O'Donhue). Reconnected with the Source of its flow and ready to go. I invite you to do the same.


Thank you God, thank you Kamarooka.


Shalom