Island time

Piliura, Pele Island - photo by Karyn Sippel 

Much is said & joked about island time in reference to the laid back, chilled approach islanders take to schedules & time. Much of it is true. Some of it is good and some not.

I did not wear a watch in Vanuatu. I didn't even take one.

Having my iPhone battery go flat after a day with no electricity to charge it, also meant that mode of time keeping was gone too. After a few days of adjusting to not even needing to know the time, except for mornings where an alarm was needed to wake us, it felt incredibly liberating to not be so bound to time keeping as we are here at home.

This struck me most when leaving the shopping centre car park yesterday experiencing a mini traffic jam, I felt myself starting to get annoyed. Annoyed that I had to wait.

Instantly I was taken back to the many hours of waiting we did in Vanuatu.

At the airport for a Dr who turned up a whole day late due to his flight being redirected back to Brisbane. Waiting for team members to turn up for events, {an hour late by our terms, accepatable & usual for island time}. Waiting for transport, either taxi, mini bus or banana boat, some that came, some didn't. Waiting for food to be prepared. Waiting for the pigs to cook island, rotisserie style, taking hours longer than expected. There was much activity, but there was also much waiting.

It was actually relaxing to wait in Vanuatu.

Not so once back home. The demand of the clock, the pull push of schedules, meetings and of having to be exactly on time clicks in almost instantly in our productive, consumer driven culture. Planes, trains & taxis wait for no one here!

How do we blend the two?

I can't be late for meetings here and claim, island time. That would get me sacked!

But I can take the patience learnt in the islands waiting into my day to day, so that little things like car pack traffic jams don't unnecessarily annoy me! Slow down, take a few breaths, it's ok not to rush. It's good to wait. Be patient. 

Patience is a good lesson learnt from island time.

I also learnt that too much island time can lead to inertia and demotivation. We saw this with many unfinished projects in the village. Too much island time sometimes leads to not much getting done. An unfinished church after several years, a medical clinic to build with ground work not completed in time for our team to lay a slab. Some of that is good, some is not.

Much patience is required.

Putting our western schedules into an island culture just doesn't work. So taking the good from island time and brining it into our western schedules just might. I am having fun trying.

Cherishing lessons learnt

Cherishing the delicate art of patience

Cherishing weaving island time into western schedules

Palm trees & coconuts

Pele Island - photo by Jane Lean

Beautiful friendly locals, crystal clear water in every shade of blue to green, white sand, palm trees, coconuts everywhere, hot days, cool evenings, medical clinics, school programs, women's workshops, singing, dancing, swimming, snorkeling, island hopping & island time plus more filled our days in Vanuatu. Everything you imagine a Pacific Island to be, Vanuatu is.

A dream come true to be able to take my four on a family missions trip together. How to instill eternity in the hearts of our children? Exposing them to other cultures, people & places so their world view is not just confined to the narrow Australian way. Exposing them to poverty so they appreciate our wealth. We are not rich by Australian standards, but certainly by Vanuatu ones we are. Exposing them to the generosity of Nevans {local people} who give out of their own poverty, not just material things, but their hearts, love & welcoming. This always strikes me the most.

We go to give, but end up feeling we have been given more.

We take store bought gifts, medical supplies, clothes, computers, chocolate, jewellery, art supplies, sewing kits, toiletries & more, yet they give of their own hands & hearts - homemade clothes, share their homes, their food, their time, their joy.

When I asked my four what their highlights were, both the girls commented on 'the village feeling' & 'sense of community' they experienced living in a village. Everybody looks out for everybody {to us independent westerners sometimes an encroaching thought}. My girls were deeply touched by the power of community like we don't experience in Australia. Here neighbours ignore each other & complain about where the rubbish bin gets put on the front lawn once a week! The girls played from dawn to dusk with the village children, seeing them huddled in groups, doing each other's hair, hand games, no iPods, iPhones, Facebook or X-boxes in sight! Just lots of laughing & love!

EQ experienced the beauty of friendships made even with language barriers. Him not being able to speak Bislama or French and locals not being able to speak English, yet finding ways to communicate & feel connected. He also killed his first pig by slitting its throat & learnt the Hakka. 'Man lessons' as coined by one team member. Male bonding time for our team lads to catch & kill pigs to cook island style for the women of Mangliliu. A counter culture experience that brought many to tears, men cooking & serving women is not a usual occurrence .

For DW seeing how locals live with no electricity, no hot water, outside kitchens with fires, simple hut homes, no proper bathrooms or creature comforts like home. You can know these things from TV & books, but to experience them is another. To have the vomits & diarrhoea & not have a flushing toilet makes you appreciate all we have!

Our trip was called, Fan the Flame Tour, our team's {2 Dr's, 3 nurses, 3 teachers, 2 chaplains, 1 lawyer ,11 adults & 9 teens} hope was to fan into flame the health, hopes, dreams, goodly desires, ambitions of those we met. We did this physically by conducting medical clinics {in Magaliliu, Lelepa & Pele}, women's workshops on child health, diabetes & STDs, pamper packages & massages, through school programs, donating to their district sports day, through dance, dramas & fire twirling! Emotionally & socially by testimonies, inspirational talks, giving of our hearts & time to invest in those we met along the way. By staying with host families & getting to know, connect with individuals, families & whole villages. Spiritually by praying & being, connecting and sharing of how we can all find a greater purpose to life by fanning into flame our gifts & calling.

Blessed to be a blessing. Grateful. Overwhelmed. Humbled.

Cherishing devoted family & team time

Cherishing our precious host families & their incredible generosity

Cherishing dreams come true

Counting blessings one by one

Little Efate off Port Vila Nov 2012

Having a mid year EOFY reflection & thanksgiving party! Having started a new job recently and about to embark on our first family medical missions trip am so deeply grateful for the way new year's goals have become realities and it's only half way through the year. At the beginning of 2013, I had 3 main goals for year;

1. To work closer to home
2. To earn more
3. To be able to take my four on a family missions trip (holiday with a purpose)

I am in awe of God and how timing, circumstances and the right opportunities collide. Many would think this is simply coincidence or the law of attraction. I choose to acknowledge the Author of life with aligning the right circumstances at the right time. This gives me great comfort. To know that we can trust our destinies into loving hands and a holy heart rather than rely on fate or ourselves to make it happen.

Yes I did look & apply for other jobs. I do believe God works with us in our goals and dreams. It's a partnership. We do our bit and He does His. However the first 3 I didn't get. I didn't give up, but did wonder whether it was not the right time......

Then the recruitment company rang and asked me to apply for my current job. Even when I went for the second interview I wasn't convinced it was for me. Yet 5 weeks in now am so, so grateful. This job is an answer to my desire & prayers to be home more for my four. I am able to work & develop resources from home when not out at sites conducting education. I am home more and earn more. Deeply grateful.

We are taking off this Friday to Vanuatu along with a team of others to help lay the foundations of a medical clinic in Mangalilu north Efate Island, conduct women's health workshops, work in schools & youth groups. Despite the minor set back of EQ having been sick, he is now well enough to travel. Being EQ's last year of school it was important to me that we go, it had to be this year! I had a sense of urgency about it, as potentially our last opportunity to go altogether. Once he leaves school, gets his own job and has a different timetable to us, he may not have the same opportunity.

As a parent I want to instill eternity into the hearts of my children. For them to see, appreciate & learn from other cultures and hopefully be more grateful for what they have at home. To see those who have so little yet are so content. To have a serving holiday rather than just serving self. To find the great joy in giving out to humanity not just taking or indulging.

If you aren't a big goal setter, can I encourage you to dream a little, dream a lot. And surrender your goals, dreams, desires to the Author of Life, who loves to work with us and meet us where we are at. He's not Santa Claus waiting to give us a BMW, but if we set goals that are mindful of others, I believe we all can see our goals become realities.

Cherishing God in the little & big things of our lives

Cherishing the willingness of my four to serve others on their holidays

Cherishing joy in the journey of life

Joie de Vie

life is like a dance, live the moments

It's a crisp, autumn morn, time to wake up slowly, drink my morning pot of tea without rushing, soak in glorious sunshine and unashamedly be in my PJs at 9am! While others have run marathons, cycled 100klm, done 2 loads of washing or got the family ready for church already, today is a designated go slow day for me, a silent, home retreat. Time to breathe and blog!

I am thinking of my beautiful four, who they are and who they are becoming. Praying for them as is my daily habit. Thinking of what they have taught me in recent weeks, the art of cherishing them makes me a better person. Am forever grateful that I can be their Mum.

EQ teaches me to 'chill Mum' - he is my stress-o-meter! His barometer and thermometer is set on high for intuition and emotional cues. When he senses heat and humidity rising, he is onto it straight away. His candid comments often help me take a step back, ditch intensity and relax. He entertains us all with his acoustic guitar strums day in and night out. From the initial 'why me' rage in May when diagnosed with glandular fever & hepatitis to acceptance and healing, the month of June has seen him improve out of sight. Vanuatu here we come. Blogworthy is that he cleaned his room, instead of a spring clean he had a 'winter clean', the first time in about 6 months! Finally, we can see the floor!

DW {Deep Waters} is forever the profound one. Reminding me that maturity not only comes with age, but also depth of personality and perspective. He is so stable and secure. DW teaches me to relish time on my own as he does. He recently paid me in cash for his mobile phone bill without being asked, proving he really is becoming a young man, responsible and self-directed. I have watched him study his heart & mind out this past month, preparing for exams and end of term assignments and have been so impressed with his diligence and determination. With his 16th birthday this month and L's under his belt this week now comes the ultimate test of mother-son relationship, teaching him how to drive!

Thoughtful Princess is  'au naturelle' and 'joie de vie' personified {translation; natural and joyful}. The above photo reminds me of both my girls and of the uninhibited joy that children, particularly young ones have and how they can remind us to 'not get stuffy' and just 'have a go'! Thoughtful Princess is exactly like that! Shopping with her yesterday I commented on some shoes, she quickly said, "Mum they're typical for someone of your age to like" - shifting me from the out of date and old category to what is modern! Love it! Love it that our children keep us current and in the moment! Forever exploring new frontiers. Thoughtful Princess is always like this. Her infectious love of life spills over to all. She is always fun to be around {except @ 7am in the morning! A night owl not an early bird}. She teaches me to embrace the moment.

Little Miss Sunshine our budding ballerina teaches me about discipline and organisability {if there is such a word}. She is so disciplined with her dance, her school work, her time, her life. She too had a pyjama day last Sunday, enjoying being in bed till midday, reading and 'flopping' - it was so nice to see her 'be still' after her frantic schedule of school, dance, homework, study & assignments. She has been working hard on her first solo performance and though filled with nerves admire her ability to overcome performance anxiety and dare greatly.

Cherishing the individuality of my four

Cherishing my primary role as mum

Cherishing who they are & what they teach me 

Friday night @ our house

Dinner by Thoughtful Princess & by candlelight

Muffin is curled up next to me on the couch, DW is practising his Fuga II on piano after finishing a 4hr shift at work, EQ is also working after a 4 week break thanks to glandular fever, Thoughtful Princess our spiritual, social butterfly is @ Upper Room, a weekly prayer gathering & Sunshine is stretching in her bedroom a nightly ritual she has before going to bed. Something a kin to self torture as she practises the splits in varied positions and HOLDs the position for minutes on end. This she times with her iPod all the while reading as she stretches!

Family life feels somewhat normal & stable again after much-a-do about everything. With one thing & another, it has been a pretty intense couple of months, as my absence from blogging has shown. Endings & new beginnings has been a big part of it all. Finishing a beloved job after 8 years and starting a new one has taken more energy than I anticipated. It's nice to have time, space & inspiration, though very ordinary, to write.

Dinner tonight was prepared by Thoughtful Princess, her speciality, salami pork meatballs {minus the salami}. We lit every candle we could find in the house to set an ambience as a 'girls only' time. Both boys were working. EQ back to it after having time off to recover from glandular fever with hepatitis. He is doing much better. So grateful for all who have prayed and sent well wishes. Though he has missed too much of school to sit exams this term, his teachers have been incredibly supportive and understanding.

Grateful. Content. Happy.

Have a good long weekend everyone xo

Cherish ordinary things that make life rich & full 

Cherish the way our children make art with their lives

Cherish simple joys

Longing

What do you long for?

A new iPhone, a new car, a bigger house, a better job, dreams to come true, less stress, less conflict, deeper connection with your spouse & children, for a partner, to travel, to make a difference, depression to dissipate, to see a paediatric hospice in Qld, for no terrorism, world peace, your Mum's chemo to be finished? We all long for something, either physical things, superficial and or in deeper spaces, the psychosocial, spiritual level.

The intensity often depends on perceived need or expectation.

Walking today acutely aware of longings bubbling deep within. Nothing that can be 'instantly gratified', rather long term dreams & desires that need to be surrendered and worked towards. Also acutely grateful for current blessings that sustain and satisfy. I often feel like life is one big paradox. Of being content with the here and now, yet always striving towards a better tomorrow not just for my own family, but for others also.

I think longings if listened to reveal much about who we are. Deep inner longings and desires if attended too can lead us to a new adventures, relationships, challenges and rewards. The key is to not be afraid. Or feel the fear and do it anyway as Susan Jeffers in her book would encourage. To explore longings that linger because they are there for a reason. If they are ignored they come to nag us sometime, somewhere else in life......

Helping our children explore their longings/dreams/desires is healthy and needful too. I have blogged about this before, how we as parents want our children to aim for the stars yet be rooted in reality too. Help them reach their full potential yet help them make mistakes courageously too. To risk, to fail, to succeed and to dare greatly. Again the paradox, the tension of life.

My spiritual director has written much on longing and the journey of desire, finding the greater desire. This maybe a bit intense for some, but has helped me immeasurably understand the nature of longing, what to do with it when at times it can be completely overwhelming and how to guide my children in their desires too.

The invitation is for us all to find the Divine in our longings. Physical things only momentarily satisfy. Deeper yearnings for peace, contentment, purpose, love, connection, satisfy to the very depths of our soul, our beings. The mystics of old assert that our desires, our wants, our longings our outward and inward searching when uncovered, expressed and recognised lead us to the Divine at the core.

Augustine wraps it up so beautifully, "our hearts are restless until they rest in you, O God". 

Cherishing longings for what they teach us

Cherishing desires for good and not for bad

Cherishing the invitation to seek the deeper things of life

Stress sharks & calm cookies

The dynamics of family life are totally priceless. Sometimes frenetic. Sometimes chilled. Sometimes somewhere in between. Thoughtful Princess who errs on the more chilled side of life has come up with the expression, stress shark and calm cookies (with actions to match) when things are getting revved up at our place!

If she senses tension mounting, she'll do the action and point out there's a stress shark looming! Reminding us to be calm cookies. How beautiful. Insightful. An internal warning system a la family style. From cinnamon bun philosophy to stress sharks & calm cookies, our family works hard at maintaining peace & equilibrium.

Even DW picked up on it at the dinner table one night recently. Sensing some potential tension rising over a particular topic, he spontaneously blurted out, stress shark, stress shark.....

Just the mention of it ignites laughter & relieves tension. It's healthy, it's fun. It's the beauty & joy of positive family dynamics. Children learn vital socialisation skills simply by being a part of a family unit.

Hate to admit it, but it is usually me that's the stress shark. Thankfully 3 out of our 4 are calm cookies by nature. They must get it from their Dad! So the ratio 3:2 balances on the right side, being relaxed rather than stressed.

So very thankful for my children's perspectives on life, they often seem even more mature than mine! Am often, often delighted as a mum, when I learn from them. Relieved that we don't have to be perfect as parents. Humility is accepting that they teach us too and being willing to admit when we are wrong.

Grateful also for other friends in life who calm the stormy seas in me, by their attitudes, perspectives, presence, prayers and even just the sound of their voice.......

What does your family do to balance each other?

Cherishing family dynamics

Cherishing friends

Cherishing the balance we bring each other