Owning their own decisions

photo by www.swifteconomics.com

It's a rainy Saturday morning, 3 of my 4 are still fast asleep, the babe of the family already at dance classes, a bright start at 5.45am. A choice she has made herself as it's the only time in the week her teacher can do solo lessons! She is that keen she jumps out of bed to get ready! Her energy and passion always ever inspiring.

I was also inspired this week by DW's choice & diligence to study and do homework without being prompted. He seems to be loving the challenge of new subjects, understanding the importance of revision each night and focused. A choice he has made of his own accord. I have not pushed or coerced. He has owned it.

Reflecting on the first few weeks of school as I curl up in bed with laptop and coffee. Sunshine and I already had our early morning pot of tea to start the day.......

Chatting with a colleague in the week who has 3 young children, hearing tales of toilet training & sleepless nights, empathetic to every detail having lived this myself, found myself thinking those younger years are so physically demanding, yet teen years so emotionally demanding.

Helping our teens navigate life & the myriad of choices it proposes! We are an options indulged culture. How do we prepare our teens to face the options overload of the real world? School subjects, uni courses, career pathways, phone plans, internet providers, life partners. There's almost too many options for everything!

We all want our kids to make wise choices, right choices, good, positive ones! Do we not?

As we faced a few weeks of mine wanting to swap subjects at school it felt like all of life depended on this! Unrealistically so! After stepping back and weighing up with them all the options, realised that in the end they have to learn to own their own decisions. Even if they realise 6months - 12months down the track perhaps it wasn't the best choice, it has still been an important lesson learnt.

As positive choices can be a teacher so also regret can be a hard but powerful one too.

Letting our teens make their own decisions is sometimes agony, especially when you don't agree or would preference another option. Yet I believe as a mum I have to let them own it for themselves. Even if I can see the risks, the pitfalls and potential disappointment down the track. Alerting them to these is all I can do, the choice then is theirs to make.

It goes against the grain of protecting them, wanting to shield them from all life's harm, yet it seems to be the only way to grow emotionally, build resilience, independence and mature........

Cherishing the choices my children make

Cherishing life's little dilemmas for what they teach us

Cherishing opportunities to learn tolerance to ambiguity