happiness is an inside job

photo by Kerri

It's been awhile since blogging - family life with all the intensity of the last few weeks of school term was hectic, rich & full (banning the word, busy remember!) to say the least.

My four juggling assignments, study, exams, part-time jobs, dance commitments, volunteering & their social lives is fairly full on, it seems to have gone up a notch & more now they are all in high school.

Reliving grade 7 science for the fourth time in a row testing Sunshine on the 3 states of matter, researching with my daughter whether Hitler seized power or was given power and enjoying EQ's sports aerobics routine for assessment over breakfast & DW's grade 7 piano pieces while cooking dinner! The joys of family life.

Happiness is an inside job leaps out @ me like the sign says. In all the hustle & bustle of family life, exams and camping over Easter, we all had our mood swings, highs & lows. The morning grumps & night time melt downs are familiar to any household with children irrespective of age!

The sign, a gift from good friends recently lives in our kitchen. A constant reminder that I am not responsible for my kids happiness. That I am as a parent responsible for their safety, their well being, their health, that they are loved, nurtured, cared for, fed & watered, that they get to bed on time so they can function at school, for setting healthy boundaries to create a sense of security, for home to be a haven & happy place to be - but I cannot 'make my kids happy' - happiness is an inside job. 

We are each responsible for our own emotional state. Toddlers of course need help to regulate or understand their emotions, to learn that emotions do not rule us, we can choose to have self-control! Hmmmm not easy! Tantrums are not the norm! However for toddlers, tantrums are part of growing up. We as parents have to teach them that they are not appropriate behaviour and show them other ways to manage frustration, anger, boredom.

Like toddlers, teens need to be reminded that the world does not revolve around them! They can't always get their own way.That true happiness and contentment comes when you share your life, your resources, your time, your heart with others, are willing to listen, give, relinquish, be selfless - Happiness is an inside job!