Selflessness is a beautiful attribute. When displayed by our own children, makes it even more beautiful! Inspired by an act of pure selflessness and thoughtfulness last night by Deep Waters (DW) that has got me thinking about all the times my children have demonstrated selflessness and how it triggers such appreciation and almost relief! And conversely of all the times they don't and how it makes me despair over their total self absorption!
Appreciation is obvious but relief in a sense that you know they actually do think about others and can be considerate. It seems that so much of our time as parents is teaching and modelling to them how to be thoughtful and considerate of others, that when they actually are, it's a surprise! From toddlers we are teaching them they are not the centre of the universe, yet somehow in this self saturated culture of ours, the message takes awhile to sink in.
I was cooking dinner last night and DW simply came and asked if there was any thing he could do to help. It was such a simple act, but so filled my heart with delight that I had to stop the water welling in my eyes! Its almost like he sensed that I was over tired and needed help and so for him to offer at just that time meant so so much.
Usually there is the normal dinner routine of asking this one or that to set the table, wash up before dinner or whatever, but to have DW ask of his own motivation was a delightful surprise!
I gave DW a big hug and thanked him profusely for asking and set him a task, thanking him again when it was completed and praising him big time for his voluntary offer, letting him know how much it meant to me.
What acts of selflessness do your children display? And how do you positively reinforce that? Am curious how as parents we can model this to our children and if its a cumulative effect as is most of parenting.......
Love your topic, Kerri-Anne.I always have a little 'heart-starter' moment when I see my teenage kids being selfless because I know, as I partner with God to bring my kids up according to His principles, that He will fill in the gaps I leave. I was so proud to see Zaac step up at Easterfest and play drums for a fellow-entrant in the 'Have You Got Talent?' contest even though his own group was in competition with him. It was such an easy thing, but made such a big difference to the guy. It makes SUCH a difference to me when I come home to find the kitchen spotlessly clean, the floors swept, rooms cleaned or one of my daughters says, 'Mum, can I make you a cup of tea?' or 'Would you like me to moisturise your feet?' YES PLEASE! At these times I let them know that I SO appreciate their thoughtfulness and what it means to me as a busy working mum,acts of service being my strongest love language.
ReplyDeleteIn my classroom a few weeks ago in the midst of a discussion, one of my beautiful grade 5 boys said, 'See a need, fill a need'. It is now a classroom poster to remind us all.
Kids are basically good when we stop to notice their growth amongst the bits that are still maturing.
Thank you Wendy for sharing your stories of raising family - wonderful to hear of Isaac's Eastefest act of kindness! Love the poster idea - See a need, fill a need!
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