Every family creates their own folklore. I often tell my children that life is full of sweet and sour - we now call it the sweet and sour principle of life. If everything was sweet and rosy all the time, then it would soon not be, as how quickly we adjust to it, thinking it's the norm and most likely take it for granted.
We need the sour things of life to help us truly appreciate the sweet.
We have had many 'sweet times' together as a family; memorable holidays, moments of sporting, academic, musical, dancing and personal achievement by each of my four, moments that create certain 'highs' of life, special times of just 'being together' laughing or playing games, working together, driving together, giving together and even in the ordinariness of everyday life there are plenty of sweet moments of pure satisfaction and contentment when life is good, things are stable and everyone is healthy and happy.
There have also been plenty of 'sour times' which have coloured our world, family life and memories. Separation and divorce no doubt the most significant that has changed and marked each of us indelibly. Though the agony and consequences of this never goes away, it gets integrated into our lives by the attribute of resilience that dwells within each of us. My four are amazing. There is no doubt they have each been scarred by these sour experiences, but how each of them have turned this into something sweet in their lives, leaves me humbled and in awe of the human spirit.
Humbled by the grace of God who does turn what is meant for harm to good when we ask Him, humbled by answered tear filled prayers that my children would be buffeted, balanced and well adjusted, humbled that they use their difficult circumstances to now help others. Choice is a contributing factor here - thankfully my four don't feel sorry for themselves as I too have never indulged them this, yet seeing them choose turning sour to sweet, nothing cheers a mother's heart more!
Thoughtful Princess is now sought after by her peers for her counselling advice - everyone comments on how fun yet 'mature beyond her years' she is, a result of living through sour times and allowing it make her sweet not bitter. An attitude of gratitude despite many things that could make her otherwise. Mr EQ, empathetic and a confidante for many of his mates who have gone through or are going through parental separation and divorce. Deep Waters, astounds us often with his understanding, awareness and words of wisdom for others in difficult circumstances. And Little Miss Sunshine ever ready to pray for her friends in trouble.
Life is sweet and sour whether we like it or not. Despise not the sour as it makes the sweet, sweeter. Let's keep encouraging our children to turn their sour moments and experiences into character building opportunities.......
Great post Kerri. And oh so true. We can't protect our children forever (or perhaps ever really), but by the grace of God we can help teach them resilience, and the wisdom of seeing the value of the hard things in life.
ReplyDeleteThanks Eve for your comment, yes agreed we cannot protect them forever or wrap them in cotton wool though would love to be able to shield them from all harm, it makes us grow stronger if we allow it.
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