Grief

 Ulysses bike club express their respect & grief en masse 

Boring title I know, but in its expression far from it. Just like the ocean, emotions are a powerful tide, so is grief. Almost like a force to be reckoned with. Having walked the journey myself many times as no doubt we all have at different phases in life, am almost in silent awe of the process that we all know as grief. It has no fool proof recipe for navigating nor is it predictable or can be fast tracked.

Much has been written, researched, sung and recommended about grief, how it goes, how to do it and how to avoid complication. When you're in it, gotta wonder if any of it matters or works. A big fan of Kubler - Ross and the famous five stages totally agree with her theory and have seen it in action in many I have cared for in my nursing career, family and lived it personally. All five can be experienced in a matter of minutes. Forget chronologically, let's call it emotional chaos!

Having knowledge about something doesn't immunise against it. Hit the wall this week, after the death of a beloved loved one having been wrapped in the wonder of how quickly it all happened and just grateful for him to be free from suffering, felt the plunge. Adrenalin keeps us going for a fair time, but not forever. When reality hits, the drop down effect can take even the most prepared by surprise. Physiologically I understand all of this, but still doesn't make it any easier.

Bear with me as I write out my grief. For me to write is to breathe is to process is to heal. Shakespeare said it well in Macbeth; Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o'er fraught heart, and bids it break.

His funeral/memorial service today was beautiful. A time to remember, a time to reflect, a time to be grateful, a time to celebrate, a time to laugh and a time to cry. And cry we did. Many of us, most of us, shared joy and shared tears. We cry for ourselves. For the loss of him. He is in a better place. For memories of him we are grateful. For our lives made better by his, we give thanks. For time to mourn, we brace.

Those who love much, grieve much. Anon

“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” 
― Leo Tolstoy

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars, 
The deeper the grief, the closer is God!” 
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” 
― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed