Inner beauty

Today more than ever we are pushed by media to look a certain way, dress a certain way, follow fashion, be skinny, have flawless complexions, no saggy butts, boobs, chins or faces, botox and cosmetic surgery are heralded as saviours to our ageing bodies. To be quite frank, I don't subscribe to it.

To override the push or even to go against the pulling tide, takes substantial energy. I find as a mother of two daughters and two sons, it is a constant challenge to navigate and interpret what my four see on TV and around them. I want for my daughters to be content with who they are, invest time in inner beauty and attitudes rather than external looks, aim to be generous, loving and kind, rather than sexy, hot and available.

I want for my sons also to be satisfied with who they are, not pumping themselves full of protein powder, steroids, hormones or becoming gym junkies to prove themselves as studs. Nor for them to expect their potential girlfriends and wives to be like what is promoted on TV to be attractive. Hopefully they see beyond the superficiality of this and desire women in their life who have invested in inner beauty.

Maybe you think I am old fashioned, or not wanting to keep up with modern times. So be it, I still would rather see my children grow up valuing inner beauty over external. In my work as a palliative nurse I see the ravages of disease, cancer, dementia, motor neurones, huntington's etc and their toll on physical bodies and sometimes wonder at the great price we pay to keep our bodies beautiful to have them suddenly flawed by disease or accidents and inevitably the ageing process. This makes me value what's going on the inside more than the out. Whatever happened to ageing gracefully?

So much time and money is invested in beauty products, treatments, facials, scrubs, massages, gym memberships and the like, I consider how much do we invest in nurturing our inner selves/beauty. Richard Rohr, renown author speaks about a renaissance of contemplation and the potential benefits of this 'exercise' and would argue not only for its internal benefits but also that it enhances the physical too. From the inside out.

Don't read me wrong, I am not anti exercise nor for looking one's best and I am all for a relaxing massage or other treatments in right measures when time permits. I love clothes and its one of our favourite mother daughter things to go op shopping to find the best fashion bargains we can. Thoughtful Princess is the BEST bargain hunter! All in moderation. However it's the obsession with physical beauty or appearances that consumes our TV programs, magazines and billboards that concerns me as a Mum.

A father's relationship with his daughters also plays such an integral role in young girls sense of self esteem and how they view themselves. And likewise mothers and sons. This I see so beautifully in my own children. Thoughtful Princess and Sunshine are for the most part very content and have lovely self esteem, more balanced than I ever was at their age. I attribute much of this to their Dad's love and affirmation of them. He tells them how beautiful they are. And he means from the inside, out.

Sunshine once asked me why I wear makeup, I spun some response around, "if only I had beautiful 10yr old skin like yours I wouldn't need too" (then felt instantly guilty for comparing). Sunshine quickly looked in the bathroom mirror and said, "I like my face, I'm glad God gave me this face"! Oh how precious those words! She said it not in any kind of pretentious, vain or conceited way, but one of total satisfaction with who she is. Isn't that the healthy kind of self esteem we long for our children to have? Hope she is still saying that when she is 21 and beyond!

Sunshine when she gets dressed for an eisteddfod now has a little verse stuck to her mirror which I have encouraged her to practise & remember. Behind the makeup and costumes is the inner beauty and attitudes we desire more, "clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience". I have for years had this on my own mirror, recited it as a morning prayer & tried to live it, now it's time to pass it on.

Something we can all aspire to regardless of age or gender. In the art of cherishing our children let us foster inner beauty more.

Shalom,