Saying goodbye

I had to say goodbye to my beautiful four this morning. Ugggghhh, found it hard. Missing them already. The house is too quiet. Most of us as parents in the hustle & bustle of family life probably wish for a reprieve or days of respite and quiet, but when it's granted, we paradoxically long for the noise & buzz that family life generates.


They are driving to Victoria with their Dad. EQ is doing most of the driving to clock up towards the all consuming 100 hours on his L's. Nothing like a long road trip to learn to drive. Making me very nervous though, what if a kangaroo jumps out, what if trucks sit on their rear end, what if's ........ will he know what to do? I trust their Dad to be ever watchful eyes and play safety conscious driving instructor, but it's all the other variables that cannot be controlled that do a mother's heart a worry.


The act of saying goodbye is like breathing, something we do without thinking, apart of our everyday experience. We say goodbye to our children dropping them to school, to work colleagues at the end of the day, to finish phone conversations. There are happy goodbyes, sad ones, painful ones, tearing ones, awkward ones, wanted and unwanted ones, formal and casual ones, rushed and drawn out ones (check out the departure lounge at any airport!). Goodbyes filled with emotion and with nothingness, with longing for the next time or dreaded ones. Welcomed goodbyes like to the telemarketer ringing at dinner time or the foxtel salesman on our doorstep for the 5th time this year. Also goodbyes filled with anger or tears as in death, final goodbyes or closure to  childhood, a friendship, a beloved pet, a job, a career, a marriage, a season in life, even a country.


YWAM days were always filled with goodbyes. I didn't like the 'being left behind' feeling that always accompanied farewelling people and teams. Just get to know people really well and have to say goodbye, knowing full well you would probably never ever see them again. Teams coming and going all the time and quickly learning that being the one left behind saying goodbye was the short end of the stick. Goodbye is worse for the one/s left behind, especially in death and to a lesser degree in travel. Like my children as the excitement overrides the sadness of the moment and there are adventures ahead for them and the mundane for the left behinders. 


So today it was a happy/sad goodbye and have to make our last hugs and kisses linger for the next 12 days. I wanted to embrace the goodbye moment and make it a memorable one. Let's not regret 'bad' goodbyes. Interesting that it is goodbye and not badbye, as if the good prefix imparts a sense of blessing to the farewell.


Maybe the 'see ya later' type of goodbye is best, like the French with au revoir or à bientôt or the Chinese, 再见 zài jiàn literally translated as, again see! What I do hope is to make our goodbyes count. Rather than be incidental, be deliberate and intentional, like my Thoughtful Princess who never fails to say,  "love you Mummy, drive safely" when she says goodbye. Her goodbye mantra! 


Or perhaps we could learn from Jewish culture, where they use the word, shalom to greet and farewell each other. Maybe not so much in today's 21st century but the word means 'peace to you'. Actually it means much more than just simply peace; it is complete peace. A feeling of contentment, completeness, wholeness, well being and harmony (Strongs concordance).  Now that's a beautiful way to say goodbye wishing/hoping/praying that kind of peace to everyone. 


Love you EQ, DW, Thoughtful Princess and Sunshine, drive safely, have a wonderful trip and see you again soon. Thank goodness for mobiles, Skype and facetime! 


Shalom.


As Ben Jonson said, "In the hope to meet shortly again, and make our absence sweet." 


Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends." -Richard Bach


A goodbye means the next hello is closer......anon