My Godfather

Can you choose your own Godfather? Well I have. In the absence of my own father growing up this wonderful, wonderful man, father of my two best twin friends became for me the equal of a surrogate Dad during my childhood. For regular blog followers, the Charlie's Angels twins who I grew up with, their Dad!  We rode to school together, played at and after school together, did weekends together, dreamed together, holidayed together, went to youth group together, grew up together. I adopted their Dad to be my own. I had either one of the twins in my class from grade 4 through to grade 12. We still stay in close contact, 35 years on.

I affectionately have called him, my Godfather. He was never officially appointed as such like at a christening or baptism but I believe he epitomises what and who a Godfather ought to be. He modelled the strength and compassion of a wonderful Dad and also represented for me and many others who God is. He taught me healthy fear of God. The kind of reverence for God that the ancients teach is the beginning of wisdom. There was something about my Godfather that made you want to please him, that oozed wisdom.You didn't want to do anything for fear of hurting or displeasing him but you always knew he was there to love, protect, teach and mentor you. It was only this Sunday, after visiting him in hospital that I thought, how do I describe him? A spiritual Dad? So I decided to give him the title, my Godfather. He is dying. I want to honour him.

After seeing him, yellow as a banana with jaundice, weak as a kitten with muscular atrophy due to kidney failure yet bright as a button, chirpy, chatty and cracking funnies as always even in the hospital bed, thought back over the years of him being the strong one, not just for his own family, for me, but for hundreds if not thousands of others, made me realise that he is truly who a Godfather ought to be. Nominated as one to care in lieu of a biological parent and intrinsically involved in your spiritual development. He did all of this without even being asked too. Just by being himself. He loves God, his family, his grandchildren, the Church, people, jazz music, motorbikes, writing, volunteering and community work. He is a character that I wish all could have the pleasure to know. To know him is to love him.

My Godfather worked his whole life here in Australia and in Papua New Guinea for the same agency. His agency existed to ensure that young men in particular were educated in the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse. This work took him into prisons, hostels, schools, to the streets, to the homeless, to every imaginable environment to see people educated and aware of the ills of drug and alcohol abuse. His work relentless and devoted. His love as wide as the ocean. His calibre and generation of gentleman is fading fast.  If there is anyone that embodies the ideal father, it is him. He loves God & his family above all, lived to serve them and others. His quick wit and unique, quirky sense of humour his definite trademark. EVERYBODY loves him. He has been a surrogate father to many. Joining the Ulysses bike club on his retirement showing us all that elevated age doesn't mean you can't still have fun!

Being able to visit him in hospital on Father's Day was very special. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer only 10 days ago. His deterioration due to secondary renal failure in such a short time has been nothing short of shocking. As his adopted 'third' daughter AND a palliative nurse comes with a certain expectation that he have the 'best death' that can be arranged. We all can't get our heads around that he is not long for this life, and yet pragmatically planning care to ensure his comfort and palliative journey be guided by the most accurate information, medical attention, best advice and optimal choices. We all thought he would be here forever! Filled with memories, filled with gratitude, filled with joy and sadness rolled into one.

Cherishing my Godfather. Cherishing memories together. Cherishing life in the face of death.