Saturday 11 August 2012

A day in bed

In bed with my laptop, faithful box of gentle aloe vera tissues by my side, pot of tea, glorious morning sunshine streaming through the window kissing my face, dosed up on fourth hourly panadeine to stop the all over body aches, Vicks vapour rub up my nose to breathe, paw paw ointment on my cracked, cold sore infested lips, Muffin curled at my feet and though feeling poorly, surprisingly glad for an excuse to be in bed in my PJs at midday on a Saturday. Also feeling overly guilty for not attending the housework, doing grocery shopping or being on Mum's taxi duty - grateful though their Dad is kindly caring for 3/4 of our children in my infirmed, flu ridden state!

Everyone seems to have it, be getting it, or getting over it at the moment. If you haven't had it, truly, truly hope it stays that way. Almost epidemic proportions this year; man flu by far the worst of course (smiley face & lol), woman flu, child flu, thankfully no chicken, swine or horse flu. Our whole family has had it, like all good families have shared the germs around despite our best efforts at domestic infection control.

Our school nurse this week had 70 children in the health room in one day. It looked like a scene from a hospital A&E than a school sick bay picking up my eldest daughter who too had fallen to the flu & needed to be retrieved from school. Also with an outbreak of whooping cough and chicken pox, colds and flu like symptoms seem to be inflicting most households in some form or another this winter. Bring on the Ekka and with it the August westerly winds to sweep the germs even more thoroughly through our population.

Thoughtful Princess is now on music tour with school in Coffs Harbour, though not 100% well, sent her off, dubious that she will be okay, hoping as heck she doesn't' rebound like me. She left early Friday, reluctant to go feeling very average herself and now after falling in a heap, feel like a very insensitive mother to have let her go. Her Dad also encouraged her to still go, so shared irresponsibility! She replied my querying dinner time text last night to say she was okay and everything was fine, but wonder like crazy if we have made the right choice??? Aarrgh parenting pain, agonising over every little decision we make on their behalf!

Being sick though undesired (unless you're a hypochondriac) can have some benefits. Its an enforced time to stop and rest. Contrived as it is, confinement and isolation can be welcome in small doses. I am many things, but lazy is not one of them. Thanks to the amazing work ethic modelled by my wonderful mother, have always tried to follow her example, work hard, not give up easily and often keep pushing on probably when pacing oneself more steadily is indicated. Driven might be another word for this. Sometimes sickness creates a selah from life's busyness. Having said all that, I hate being sick! Who doesn't? Nurses don't do sick. We care for others, not need someone to care for us.

Bless my dear Sunshine after a day at eisteddfods with a coughing, feverish, panadol dependent mother, took charge and sent me to bed at 7pm last night.  With tears in her eyes (overtired herself) tucked me into bed and asked if I was going to be okay. I must have looked bad! I felt absolutely awful. Assuring her took some convincing but with cuddles and chat time, we said an early good night to both have a 14 hour sleep! Though not fully recovered, do feel somewhat better for the long sleep. Thankfully Sunshine had a mild dose of the flu last week and was well enough to do her ballet exam and attend eisteddfods this week. Deep Waters who is also Iron Guts (cause he never gets sick) also had a mild dose, Thoughtful Princess, EQ and I have had it the worst. EQ has soldiered on, like a valiant hero, too young or naive to be influenced by the typical man flu and Thoughtful Princess had a couple days off school to recover.

Remembering back to the last time I felt this awful - which was June 2011 when I fractured 2 ribs, a near pneumothorax after falling onto my son's bench press dumb bell bar. No I wasn't working out, was actually standing on it to hang something up, then fell on top of it, a very stupid move! Then spent 2 weeks off work, not allowed to drive, lift or do anything, literally house confinement (felt like house arrest) unable to hardly breathe without pain or discomfort. Close friends reckoned the only way God could stop me in my tracks and force me to rest was to break my ribs! Stop me it did but most importantly it gave me a total new level of empathy and compassion for people suffering acute bone pain. Endone and prunes became my new best friends and the fatigue of constant pain deeply understood. Grateful to experience this in the world of palliative nursing that I live, helps me relate in some small way to what some of my patients go through. So one day in bed, tis nothing in comparison.

It has been peaks and troughs all week. Was sent home early from work on Monday because I looked and sounded dreadful then. My work colleagues thought I was being terribly irresponsible too for sharing my germs at work! Always a tough decision when sick, to not take unnecessary sick leave and not be knowingly contagious in a shared work environment. I had honestly felt okay in the morning, but faded fast by the afternoon. Then pushed myself all week to stay on top of things. "Too much to do, I must be well, I must be well", the positive affirmation message working over time in my head but not working on my body! We joke about the man flu, and maybe my pride in not wanting to 'give into the flu' like men do, has put me in bed now! How foolish and selfish, if only I could learn that I am not indispensable!

So here I am, writing the day away in bed, in between sniffles, coughing, tablet taking, vigorously re applying Vicks and paw paw, dozy reading and slumbered prayer, willing myself better by tomorrow as we have day 2 of Sunshine's last dance eisteddfod for the year. Overtly feeling sorry for myself or why else dedicate a whole blog to a day in bed! Ode to the flu! Tragic! Anyone who reads this must really love me! At least being sick has resulted in two blog posts in one day, a first, half a book read, so being sick has not been a total waste! Suffering shared is suffering halved just as joy shared is a joy doubled. True to my extroverted nature share the suffering along with the joys. Vegemite toast and tea my staple diet with H20, garlic and vitamin C. Thinking empathetically of anyone else with the flu or feeling under the weather and sending get well wishes your way, hoping for a speedy return to health for all with some sunshine kisses of rest and recovery xxxx.


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